Let’s see if I can sneak this one in without anyone noticing. So I love salads, but hate eating healthy. DILEMMA. So here’s a great way to keep those skinny bitches who are concerned with glycemic index and fat contents. Tell them to shut up and stop worrying; life needs its fattening salads. MAPLE CANDIED BACONTime: 20 MinutesAmount: As much as you’d like. I’m not going to stop you. INGREDIENTS: Bacon Maple Syrup (1/4 cup per 4-5 pieces) DIRECTIONS: Cook your bacon over medium heat in a VERY GOOD nonstick or VERY DURABLE stainless steel pan until just crispy. I don’t care if you like chewy bacon; you are gross and wrong. Also you are going to put a nice candy coating on it, so it is going to be crunchy. Pour maple syrup (1/4 cup for every 4-5 pieces) directly over the bacon, still hot in the pan. Toss around to make sure it is all covered and simmer on low. The sugars in the maple syrup will start to cling to the bacon as the water evaporates. When the bacon becomes pretty shiny and the syrup is mostly evaporated, remove the bacon to a raised cooling rack. Don’t touch it with your fingers, and you won’t get sugar burns all over your greedy little paws. For the salad, I just crumbled it up and threw it in with some baby spinach, cherry tomatoes, crumbled, warm baked mac and cheese (with a teaspoon of ground mustard in it instead of bacon). The oils from the cheese are good enough to be a dressing, but if you must add, I’d choose a good honey mustard. You bring this to a cookout, and all your skinny-assed friends will forget what a glycemic index even is. Let’s all get fat and happy together.

Let’s see if I can sneak this one in without anyone noticing.

So I love salads, but hate eating healthy. DILEMMA. So here’s a great way to keep those skinny bitches who are concerned with glycemic index and fat contents. Tell them to shut up and stop worrying; life needs its fattening salads.

MAPLE CANDIED BACON
Time: 20 Minutes
Amount: As much as you’d like. I’m not going to stop you.

INGREDIENTS:

  • Bacon
  • Maple Syrup (1/4 cup per 4-5 pieces)

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Cook your bacon over medium heat in a VERY GOOD nonstick or VERY DURABLE stainless steel pan until just crispy. I don’t care if you like chewy bacon; you are gross and wrong. Also you are going to put a nice candy coating on it, so it is going to be crunchy.
  2. Pour maple syrup (1/4 cup for every 4-5 pieces) directly over the bacon, still hot in the pan. Toss around to make sure it is all covered and simmer on low. The sugars in the maple syrup will start to cling to the bacon as the water evaporates. When the bacon becomes pretty shiny and the syrup is mostly evaporated, remove the bacon to a raised cooling rack. Don’t touch it with your fingers, and you won’t get sugar burns all over your greedy little paws.

For the salad, I just crumbled it up and threw it in with some baby spinach, cherry tomatoes, crumbled, warm baked mac and cheese (with a teaspoon of ground mustard in it instead of bacon). The oils from the cheese are good enough to be a dressing, but if you must add, I’d choose a good honey mustard.

You bring this to a cookout, and all your skinny-assed friends will forget what a glycemic index even is. Let’s all get fat and happy together.

Tags: bacon recipe photo comfort food salad | Jul 29, 2009
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It was bound to happen sooner or later. Get ready. BAKED MAC AND CHEESE WITH APPLEWOOD SMOKED BACONTime: 1 hour cooking, 1 hour coolingAmount: 4 cups INGREDIENTS: 3 slices applewood bacon 2 cups uncooked pasta 4 tbsp butter 1/2 pound mild cheddar, grated 1/2 pound medium cheddar, grated 2 tsp salt 1 tbsp pepper 1 cup ricotta cheese 1-2 cups half and half 1 egg DIRECTIONS: Cut the bacon into 1” slices and cook your bacon. Crispy. Make sure it gets all dark and delightful. You’re going to put the bacon into a liquid, so it is going to get a little more chewy. If you don’t like bacon, I’d suggest cubes of ham or a thicker cut of pork. Reserve the bacon, save the fat for something else. Cook your pasta to al dente; it should double in size. Season the water with salt. You’re cooking this again, so don’t overdo it. If you cook it too long the first time, the pasta will break down in the oven, and you’ll have a pot of cheesy mush. Now a note on the type of pasta: I don’t tend to use macaroni in my mac and cheese. Because the holes in macaroni are a kind of small, it is harder for the cheese to get inside. I use rigatoni instead. It’s bigger and makes each bite perfection. Preheat the oven to 350. After cooking the pasta, drain and immediately put the pasta in a bowl with the butter. Then add all but one cup of cheddar and all of the bacon; stir. All of the cheddar may not melt, but this will allow the pasta too cool enough that it doesn’t scramble the egg when you add it. In a separate bowl, whisk the salt, pepper, ricotta, 1 cup half and half, and egg until well blended. Put the macaroni/cheddar blend into a corning-ware or pan, then slowly add the milky mixture. Add additional half and half until the pasta is just covered. Bake for 15 minutes. Stir in order to keep the macaroni from drying out. Bake for an additional 10 minutes. Add the rest of the cheese on top, up the heat to 375, and bake for 10-15 more minutes, until the cheese on top starts to brown. Remove from the oven to cool for almost an hour. If you don’t allow the mac and cheese to cool properly, the cheese sauce won’t be set, and it will not bind together. Now, whenever I’ve talked about my mac and cheese, there have been a lot of criticism (critics who all shut their mouth after the first bite), about two parts of my recipe. The first is always the fact that it is a baked mac and cheese instead of a macaroni and cheese sauce. I take great umbrage with anyone who suggests that a béchamel sauce is better (anyone ever call the comfort food macaroni and mornay sauce? no.) clearly just hasn’t had proper mac and cheese. There’s no flour in here for good reason: you don’t need it when you make it right. Sauce Mornay (béchamel and cheese sauce) may have its place in fine cuisine, but it needs to stay out of my comfort food. The second is that it is really unhealthy. I pretty much have nothing to say about this. It is completely true. There’s over a pound of cheese, about 2 cups of half and half, 1/8 cup of butter, and an egg. Every bite is a gloriously unhealthy forkful of perfection, and you won’t even want to share. You’ll demand each morsel of cheddar-y deliciousness for yourself, completely forgetting about fat and cholesterol contents. So just try it. If you don’t love it, you probably hate fun.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Get ready.

BAKED MAC AND CHEESE WITH APPLEWOOD SMOKED BACON
Time: 1 hour cooking, 1 hour cooling
Amount: 4 cups

INGREDIENTS:

  • 3 slices applewood bacon
  • 2 cups uncooked pasta
  • 4 tbsp butter
  • 1/2 pound mild cheddar, grated
  • 1/2 pound medium cheddar, grated
  • 2 tsp salt
  • 1 tbsp pepper
  • 1 cup ricotta cheese
  • 1-2 cups half and half
  • 1 egg

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Cut the bacon into 1” slices and cook your bacon. Crispy. Make sure it gets all dark and delightful. You’re going to put the bacon into a liquid, so it is going to get a little more chewy. If you don’t like bacon, I’d suggest cubes of ham or a thicker cut of pork. Reserve the bacon, save the fat for something else.
  2. Cook your pasta to al dente; it should double in size. Season the water with salt. You’re cooking this again, so don’t overdo it. If you cook it too long the first time, the pasta will break down in the oven, and you’ll have a pot of cheesy mush. Now a note on the type of pasta: I don’t tend to use macaroni in my mac and cheese. Because the holes in macaroni are a kind of small, it is harder for the cheese to get inside. I use rigatoni instead. It’s bigger and makes each bite perfection.
  3. Preheat the oven to 350.
  4. After cooking the pasta, drain and immediately put the pasta in a bowl with the butter. Then add all but one cup of cheddar and all of the bacon; stir. All of the cheddar may not melt, but this will allow the pasta too cool enough that it doesn’t scramble the egg when you add it.
  5. In a separate bowl, whisk the salt, pepper, ricotta, 1 cup half and half, and egg until well blended.
  6. Put the macaroni/cheddar blend into a corning-ware or pan, then slowly add the milky mixture. Add additional half and half until the pasta is just covered.
  7. Bake for 15 minutes. Stir in order to keep the macaroni from drying out.
  8. Bake for an additional 10 minutes.
  9. Add the rest of the cheese on top, up the heat to 375, and bake for 10-15 more minutes, until the cheese on top starts to brown.
  10. Remove from the oven to cool for almost an hour. If you don’t allow the mac and cheese to cool properly, the cheese sauce won’t be set, and it will not bind together.

Now, whenever I’ve talked about my mac and cheese, there have been a lot of criticism (critics who all shut their mouth after the first bite), about two parts of my recipe.

The first is always the fact that it is a baked mac and cheese instead of a macaroni and cheese sauce. I take great umbrage with anyone who suggests that a béchamel sauce is better (anyone ever call the comfort food macaroni and mornay sauce? no.) clearly just hasn’t had proper mac and cheese. There’s no flour in here for good reason: you don’t need it when you make it right. Sauce Mornay (béchamel and cheese sauce) may have its place in fine cuisine, but it needs to stay out of my comfort food.

The second is that it is really unhealthy. I pretty much have nothing to say about this. It is completely true. There’s over a pound of cheese, about 2 cups of half and half, 1/8 cup of butter, and an egg. Every bite is a gloriously unhealthy forkful of perfection, and you won’t even want to share. You’ll demand each morsel of cheddar-y deliciousness for yourself, completely forgetting about fat and cholesterol contents.

So just try it. If you don’t love it, you probably hate fun.

Tags: comfort food picture recipe southern bacon 19 notes | | Jun 7, 2009
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