Let’s see if I can sneak this one in without anyone noticing.
So I love salads, but hate eating healthy. DILEMMA. So here’s a great way to keep those skinny bitches who are concerned with glycemic index and fat contents. Tell them to shut up and stop worrying; life needs its fattening salads.
MAPLE CANDIED BACON
Time: 20 Minutes
Amount: As much as you’d like. I’m not going to stop you.
INGREDIENTS:
- Bacon
- Maple Syrup (1/4 cup per 4-5 pieces)
DIRECTIONS:
- Cook your bacon over medium heat in a VERY GOOD nonstick or VERY DURABLE stainless steel pan until just crispy. I don’t care if you like chewy bacon; you are gross and wrong. Also you are going to put a nice candy coating on it, so it is going to be crunchy.
- Pour maple syrup (1/4 cup for every 4-5 pieces) directly over the bacon, still hot in the pan. Toss around to make sure it is all covered and simmer on low. The sugars in the maple syrup will start to cling to the bacon as the water evaporates. When the bacon becomes pretty shiny and the syrup is mostly evaporated, remove the bacon to a raised cooling rack. Don’t touch it with your fingers, and you won’t get sugar burns all over your greedy little paws.
For the salad, I just crumbled it up and threw it in with some baby spinach, cherry tomatoes, crumbled, warm baked mac and cheese (with a teaspoon of ground mustard in it instead of bacon). The oils from the cheese are good enough to be a dressing, but if you must add, I’d choose a good honey mustard.
You bring this to a cookout, and all your skinny-assed friends will forget what a glycemic index even is. Let’s all get fat and happy together.
